My Story of Rejection (and What I Learnt from it)

A true story from a friend. From Rachel. To Rachel.

“I had been rejected by my crush before and believe me, it is not a pleasant experience. I had to go through so many sleepless nights, always waking up with red, swollen eyes in the morning. I can never control my overflowing emotions, but I can learn from it and decide what to do after. I just learnt it the hard way.

“I know this sounds cliche, but he was the sweetest guy I’d ever met. He’d be there whenever I needed him (He is still there, btw); Every time I had something serious to talk about, he would hear me out without saying a single word. He would sometimes also even laugh at my situation, not a tinge of pity lingering in his sentence. But I’d know he was just trying to cheer me up, and that I’d feel some weight being lifted off my back. His words always make me think, “Maybe it isn’t that bad after all, since he can laugh about it. It’s just a phase of life, and it’ll end.” I’d also find myself being more optimistic in dealing with difficult situations. And the fact that I can just shrug off what had been torturing me emotionally all these years. I think, that is why I like him. It was his personality and choice of words. It may be just sarcasm to him, but I find solace in his sarcasm. Ridiculous? Yes, I admit it. I am a ridiculous person.

“I even wrote him a three-page-long confession letter. He replied, and I flat-out got rejected. And yet, I felt like the happiest person in the world. Was I deranged? Was rejection driving me bonkers? No. It was because I spared the doubts I created by myself. Without having to ask all those stupid questions to myself over and over again, I wasn’t able to accept the fact that he was just a friend, not a boyfriend, not MY boyfriend. He left me with no doubts, and I still like him for that.

“And then the fact of “refusing to face reality” kicked in. I’d seen myself sugarcoating his words, trying to deceive myself from reality.

“Words and phrases he said, like:

“You’re cute.”

“You’re kind.”

“I like you.”

They have a different meaning now.

“If I was his FRIEND, I would take those as compliments and praises.

“If I was his GIRLFRIEND, I would take those words as his way of flirting and signs of him liking me (in a romantic way), even after the rejection.

“The human mind works in funny ways. That phase was excruciatingly painful for me. Even until now, I can’t help but stare at my phone for a notification from him. A message, a sticker, a voice recording… … Just anything from him.

“I’m sorry for my inane chatter up there. I’m still gonna blabber more. If you’re interested, welcome to my world. I’ll offer you my palm. If you’re not, I’m sorry for wasting your time.

“That guy was definitely the “nicest” guy I had ever met. Four days after the rejection, he told me what I did — confess to him— was stupid and he wanted to prove himself right. I have no idea why he did that.

“He was a great guy. A girl confessed to him but he didn’t like her. Wasn’t the most logical response to be secretly happy about the fact and reject her in the most polite way possible? Apparently not, from the way he completely crushed my feelings. Not surprisingly after that, he changed into a completely different person. All his flaws slowly surfaced like red, painful zits.

“He still listens to my laments like a friend would. You may think that he’s still a kind and thoughtful person but It turns out that he was just bored and had nothing to do. I was stupid to still think that he actually cared for me. After the rejection, he became rude over the top and was indifferent to hurting my feelings. He now pokes fun of everything I do and he became the worst kind of human being to me.

“I should hate him for that, right? Strangely enough, he brings to mind forcibly of my own brother — of that blunt and unforgiving tongue they both share.

“Finally, what did I learn from this “nice” guy?

1. He taught me not to look at things superficially by showing his true nature. He was silently telling me to see through the facade of a nice guy. Because you never know what nice guys are capable of doing.

2. He taught me to be responsible of my own actions by bringing up the confession letter numerous times and laughing about it like an insane person would. From then on, I learnt not to do things in the heat of the moment without thinking of the consequences.

3. He keeps rejecting my requests, which he would accept easily in the past. With this, he taught me to never take things for granted. People change. One moment, you’re a saint, but the next, a demon. Cherish and appreciate the moments when your loved ones sacrificed their time and life for you.

4. He kept shooting hurtful, but TRUE comments at me. “Naive, easy, stupid, insensitive, irrational etc.” Every condescending word you can think of. He taught me to look at my flaws and make amendments to them. He let me know that he truly cared for me as a friend and let me grow up the hard way through sheer HUMILIATION.

“THIS IS WHAT I CALL A TRUE FRIEND.”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s